I came down the stairs this morning and his blond head and shiny eyes did not acknowledge me. His tail did not wag in the excitement of his first pat of the day.
I looked at the mound of stuffed toys that were so lovingly played with one by one, with each new one receiving its own inaugural sole attention before it joined the growing crew.
I rattled the paper bread bag and I did not hear the “tap tap tap” of his too long nails echo in rhythm across the tile floor in anticipation of a bread nub.
I stood there eating, alone, with no big brown eyes glowing with anticipation and a chorus of “drop it, drop it, drop it” being chanted in his doggie mind.
I dropped a piece of my toast on the floor and it just stayed there as I stared at it in disbelief. Our furry vacuum was not there to inhale it.
I crumpled the empty treat bag into a ball before I put it in the bin yet today it did not act as a magnet to draw our blond boy, ears perked, to my side hoping for not one, but two treats as he always got.
I picked up his blue lead and collar and its chain rattled, but I was not greeted by the puppy-like enthusiasm of going for a walk to discover new smells, new things and new people around the old neigbourhood.
I looked at the empty water bowl and I knew that the distinctly familiar, “lap, lap, lap” “lap, lap, lap” was now just a signature sound that was already fading into my future.
I went outside and saw the empty plastic crate that would not take another road trip to visit his favourite people or doggy friends.
Then I looked in the mirror and I saw the sadness that I knew was going to be here for a while. I saw the face of love and loss and the distinct pain that comes from a final goodbye. I saw a woman who was lucky enough to be honoured by the presence of a gentle soul.
I will forever cherish the time with my gorgeous golden boy. And, I will be forever thankful for the incredible people who added joy to his life and to the incredible people at Golden Retriever Rescue for rescuing us by introducing us to the perfect dog who quite literally picked us.
Our first days with Buzz – July 31, 2011
With all our love Buzz, thank you for the paw prints you’ve carved into our hearts. Our lives are better for having loved you.