13.02.2016 – Day 44
I’ve been grappling with this friendship thing of late. Well I can be known to put on a brave front, I’m really incredibly sensitive. You just have to watch an hour or two of television with me for a demonstration.
I’m also lonely more often than I consider optimal. Don’t get me wrong I do appreciate my alone time and I cherish the time with my wonderful husband. I guess, I’m quite torn by being away from a number of my dearest friends, those who know me intimately,have been there as we’ve grown and changed, been there for the good and bad and the best thing is that they love me anyway, as I do them.
I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it gets harder and harder to make really close friends as we get older.
While I have no shortage of acquaintances, a few good friends and I do continue to enjoy meeting new people, I’m just not finding that the value derived from these newer friendships is the same. We don’t see each other as often, talk about the the serious stuff or just talk about nothing at all. We don’t seem to have that sixth sense of when we’re needed or see each other through growth and change together.
Maybe I’ve changed, maybe being part of a couple changes things, maybe I’m not meeting enough people, or the right ones, but I’m finding it hard to get to the deep and meaningful with people. Maybe we’re all too busy. Maybe people figure they have enough of these types of friends. Maybe we’re only alotted so many “great” friends in our lives and I’m at my quota. Or, maybe I don’t come across “friend-worthy” anymore. (Although I do try.)
I’m not quite sure what it is.
But, there have been times lately where the words in this image are far too familiar and there’s no turning off the tears or the negative thoughts, so I guess I’ll just have to do as it says and decide who is tear worthy and who is not and hold dearly to those wonderful friends who are.