08.02.2016 – Day 39
Don’t Squander One of Your Greatest Gifts
I think that those of us who have lost our dads, or even both parents probably feel this way. If given the chance to see them, hold them, chat with them a while, then we’d take it in a heartbeat. We would probably do it even if it meant would having to go through the pain of losing them all over again.
The bond most of us have with our parents is a truly special one. The relationship might not always be what we want it to be. They may hurt us, make us angry, or embarrass us with corny dad jokes. The connection might not always be as strong as it was when we were living together. There is the chance that they may not love us exactly the way we want them to, but we have only one mother and father and only one lifetime to share with them, so we should cherish them during the short time we are blessed with their presence in our lives.
It saddens me to witness some children (young and old) who, despite being cautioned against it, continue to resent, harbour hurt and anger, set unreal expectations and judgements that steal precious time away from their relationship with their father or their mother. I’ve seen even adult children be so bitter and angry at their parents for what they did do or didn’t do, or did say or didn’t say, rather than be accepting of their parent for the loving, well intentioned, yet flawed, perfectly human being that they are.
Don’t be mistaken. We are ALL flawed – parents and kids alike. The difference is that with family we should accept it and love each other in spite of our flaws. Family and the bond with our parents are to be cherished. (With some rare exceptions, of course.)
None of us know how long we’ll be here. So, in the short time we are together with our parents, isn’t it better for us kids to accept them for who they are and love them anyway? Isn’t it better for us to get past all the negatives and focus on all the positives? Isn’t it better to have a loving and healthy relationship with our parents than one of animosity and anger? Isn’t it better to put an end to any time you may have felt has been stolen away rather than continue on stealing it from yourself because of residual resentments?
If there is a problem with your relationship with your father, or mother, isn’t it time to fix it? If you don’t, will you end up regretting it when they die and it’s too late? I think so.
We don’t have all the time in the world. We can’t rely on someday or next month or next year. Don’t let another day go by without mending one of the most important relationships in your life. While some might be, most are not nearly as bad as we make them out to be. So, go, enjoy time together. Get to know your parents on a deeper level. Let them in. Spend time with them. Accept them and love them and all their imperfections, just as they do you.
Don’t keep adding more and more layers to the walls that you’ve built around yourself. Don’t squander one of your greatest gifts. Don’t let it be too late, for you will never really know the heartache of losing your dad (or your mother) until you see their empty chair.